¿Te gusta Panamá?

Do you like Panama?

Yes, I say.

Yes because my family prayed that God would give me brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers in the faith here, and He already has. Jarelis, a good friend and coworker, has been praying for our friendship since she heard that an “American missionary” was coming for 11 months. A lot of my coworkers are close to my age, and all are dedicated believers with a good sense of humor to boot.

Yes, because when you finally get out of the city and take a deep breath, you can smell the salt (I love that!) and see the wide open sky, painted by layers and layers of ominous rainy-season clouds. And you swim in the ocean with friends, even after the clouds open up and you have to squint your eyes shut because it’s raining so hard. Here, everyone swims in the rain, during the rainy season at least.

Yes, because people are so friendly. When you walk into a room, or when someone walks into a room, you say “Buenas” to everyone. When you leave work, you say goodbye to everyone. A random lady somehow connected to the bookstore comes in and gets my email address so she can show me around “this beautiful country.”

Yes, because people love to practice their limited English with me, and get really delighted when they construct a comprehensible sentence. It makes me laugh, but in a happy way. It’s the familiar joy of learning, the pride of doing something different. 

Yes, because I am learning so much. In spite of the frustration that comes with not understanding people the first time, (who knew peninsular Spanish could be THIS different from Latin American, or specifically Panamanian Spanish?), I love it when things do finally click and I learn new expressions:

“Dale, pue” is Panameño slang for “Do it, then.” It’s the favorite phrase of my friend Sara, who works in accounting at the bookstore.

“¡Alla la vida!” said with hearty emphasis, means the same thing as “¡Chuleta!”… both are expressions of surprise, and can be either negative or positive. I just recently picked up on the former, and saying it is an instant recipe for laughter.

One of my favorites is “¿Qué sopa?” –ghetto for “What’s up?” Taken literally, it would mean, “What soup?” If you know Spanish, it should make you happy that this is BOTH a Spanglification (what soup, what’s up), and a simple reversal of syllables (qué pasó). Well, it makes me happy anyway. =)

No, I think to myself in the back of my head, during those moments between wake and sleep.

No, because the security guards at every convenience store and bank are a constant reminder of the state of security here, and the congested streets always smell. Because not even natives trust the maps in the confusing streets here, making it difficult to explore or feel independent. Because as a young, blonde American, I stand out—sometimes to the point of feeling like a piece of meat. Because I have to ask people to repeat themselves until we are both frustrated.

Then I realize that most of my unspoken “No’s” are so pitifully selfish, and most of my “Yes’s” are such bountiful blessings.

Integrating into a new culture isn’t going to work well for self-centered bigots. Since when have I been that American? By the grace of God, I’m not. I will not be.  

“No se trata de Abby, se trata de Dios.” (It doesn’t have to do with Abby, it has to do with God.) Those were the words of my Colombian friend Loyda on a bus in Sevilla so many months ago.

Then she opened up her Bible and read Joshua 1:8 to me: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

YES. Yes, because my God is with me.

Yes, because here I am going to learn the Bible in Spanish. I am going to memorize God’s Word in Spanish. In Spain I just wanted to read the Bible in my heart language. Here, I am realizing that if God is calling me to work with Spanish-speaking people, I need to know the Bible in Spanish.

The first passage I’m memorizing is Philippians 3:7-21. All of it speaks directly to my transition and walk with God here, but especially the first few verses:

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

AMEN. Gloria a Dios.